“I failed my way to success.”——Thomas Edison
Things aren’t always happening for the best, but we can make the best of what happened. (try to see the value and importance of failure)
1.Perfectionist VS People Committed to Excellence
i.The definition of perfectionism
The incapacitating fear of failure that permeates our lives, especially those areas we care about most.
ii.The perfectionists’ schema:
A straight line from A to B (no trial and error, completely a fantasy)
iii.The perfectionists’ characteristics:
Self-defensiveness(resist criticism)
Over generalize(all or nothing)
No self-acceptance
Terrified of failure
All about getting to the end(only care the destination)
iv.The consequences of being a perfectionist
Have only temporary relief (marathoner)
Hurt self-esteem(less likely to put yourself on the line)
Harms relationship(less possible to form intimacy)
引子:想着要处理一下没用的教材,QQ找了同专业的学妹,结果人课早就上完了,书也是上学期末就准备好了。然后就开始语重心长的说考研复习要趁早,一把辛酸泪的说着。学妹恭维我是学霸,我说:没有没有,我觉得今年考研自己会凉凉。以此证明自己真的不是学霸。
虽然在社交上中国人常常会有这种你推我往的谦让作为一种礼仪,但面对名不副实的称赞,我确实是没有坦然接受的接受的勇气(还没被社会磨平棱角到“无所谓身边人”的态度吧),甚至会不自觉的自我贬低。概率上来讲
疫情在家学习了看了积极心理学课程,我发现里面很多知识需要进行一些讨论,所以我建了一个微信的讨论群,讨论内容如下:
1,公开课所涉及的内容,比如乐观主义,环境的力量,完美主义等,它所提供的研究内容都可以讨论,提出你的疑惑和“有了”的想法(灵感)。
2,公开课里面建议做的事情,比如写日记,写感激信,制定目标等,说出来你在做这些事情过程遇到的问题和获得的感受。
3,分享一些有趣的事情或者其他的心理问题都可以进行讨论。
希望有兴趣的可以私聊我!
【积极心理学】哈佛幸福课 P22:自尊和自我实现
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